Depth: Second and Third tunnels

I returned, with my retracting ankle rope, to the place with five tunnels. This time I chose to go into the largest one in the middle. This also had blackness on the walls, but there were lots of silver patches everywhere, which was reassuring. This tunnel was a bit more confusing. I figured out that it was my present and very recent thoughts. Trocker was there, with me, but it wasn't me because I could see myself, if that makes any sense. Neither of them acknowledged my existence near them, which makes sense since they were only thoughts anyhow. I honestly don't remember very much from this tunnel, even though I'm writing very shortly after I made this little pilgrimage, but I do recall that this tunnel had floating thoughts and memories, they looked like bits of fog (fog underwater?) and if one hit me, then I immediately pictured something that had been on my mind at some point, in this case, a movie me and my little brothers had made the other day. It was gone quickly, and I don't remember being hit by any more. This tunnel was not very “deep” because it was present thought, which doesn't always stick around, especially with me, as I get distracted very often.

At this point, I used my rope to come back to the larger area with the five tunnels. This time I took the small tunnel on the bottom, which I managed to “squeeze” through. (I'd like to remind you, that in all truth, I'm simply laying down with my eyes closed, but it did seem real to me). I found a small room, and a copy of myself sitting contentedly on some seat. Unlike the thoughts in the other tunnels, this one could see me and said hello. He went on to explain that this tunnel was sort of the “help toolbar” tunnel and that he could possibly explain some things that confused me. I asked if he could go with me. He tried, but the tunnel shut when he went near it. This was because my mind was not open enough yet, he explained (I explained? This thought did look and sound like me, though a bit more calmly than I usually act). He told me that if I continued to practice I would open up more tunnels than the five here, and that there was even a tunnel to a library of my memories. Also, the tunnel on the right was a tunnel of my senses, and that I should try checking it out. Figuring it was I good idea, I left the small tunnel and reentered the zone of five tunnels...

What a curious thing is the mind.

Depth: The first tunnel

I did it.  It was spooky.  It was awesome.
             I pulled myself into a deeply meditative trance and I managed to explore my own mind.  Let me tell you about it.
          I began with how I normally self-hypnotize myself, which is totally relaxing my body and chasing away all thoughts by imagining only darkness and a single candle.  This candle is where any thoughts that I have are fed into and then burned, thus clearing my mind.  Soon, I can barely feel my body at all.  Then I float, yes it feels a lot like floating, to a door.  Upon opening this door, I find myself in a large area full of water.  I'm at the top of ten steps.  What's incredible here, is that with every step I take everything that I "see" (even though my physical eyes are closed) and "feel" (even though my physical body is just laying down) starts to become more and more real to me.
           When I reach the fifth step, I begin to enter the water, and let me tell you, it's almost freaky how real it seems.  It feels cool, but not unpleasantly so.  I continue down the steps until I reach the "floor" at this point, the water's only waist deep and I have to fall into it if I want to swim.  I do this and as the water gets deeper I can feel an almost total sense of release.  All my muscles are relaxed and I just float for a bit.
          Even if you're not interested in any self-hypnosis or "mind-searching" I recommend the process I just described for relaxation, cuz man it really works! (for me anyhow)
            Normally, if I were to only try to self-hypnotize, or even just relax, this water is about how far I go into this trance.  Maybe swim around a bit and open things that I find, but it's really just to relax.  Disclaimer: If you do ever try this and get this far, MAKE SURE that you won't have any distractions which will snap you back into your physical body, because it will quadruple your heart-rate for a few seconds and basically defeat any relaxation purposes you had.  It's that deep.
           As it is, I was not here only to release tension, but to explore my mind.  I found out how quickly when I saw a large dark hole, sloping down into who-knows-where, off to the left of the "pool".  Since it's my mind, I imagined up a rope, which would attach to my "ankle" and to an anchor at the top of the hole.  Later on, this proved to be a good idea.  The rope would stretch for however, long I want it to, and would pull myself up when I needed it to, and like this I "swam" into the hole.  The tunnel I entered was dark, but not long, and I soon came up to five more tunnels, a large one going straight, three medium sized ones on the top, left, and right of the large one, and a small one which would only barely "fit" me through.  I began with the one on the left.
       Upon entering, I began to wonder why my mind had chosen all the walls to be black so far.  I went to investigate and was surprised to find out that the black was a coating, and that underneath was silver, which is my favorite color.  Speculating, I realized the black was put there by times of depression, which dulls things I enjoy.  I was kind of down yesterday which is possibly why the entrance was all black, though that's only one theory.  Anyhow, I went down the tunnel (and it did turn more silver) and found that it branched into two more tunnels.  The two tunnels were my perceptions of the future, based upon being accepted to BYU, where I've recently applied.  The choice of "did not get accepted" was completely clogged with confusion, which looks green, twisted, and is not very malleable.  In this case, it completely blocked any entrance to that one tunnel.  The "did get accepted" tunnel had some floating confusion, but I was able to "push" past it and "see" what I thought may become of my future.  I saw, floating around, images of myself going to college, majoring in video editing, going on a two-year mission (something men do in my church when they hit 19, or shortly thereafter) and then returning, getting a degree, getting married, and after that there was nothing, because I guess I'd never thought that far.
         I did explore more, but what I do when I return will be on my next post, because this one's really getting long enough.  I would, however, like to say that it was the most interesting thing to happen, to "see" things which I know must have been created by my mind, but which surprised me anyway.  It was really quite eye-opening, so to speak.  Do I recommend it?  Well, I won't say yes or no, I don't know if everyone can even do it, or if I'm even doing everything right.  It was all experimentation, little to no instruction.  And, although it felt longer, it was all done in a little less than an hour.
             More to come my friends...

Where's my camera?

... I haven't a clue where my camera is, but seeing as I'm not actually looking for it, it's probably upstairs on my desk... and I don't actually need it right now so I guess that's really not a problem.

I constantly get sweater and sweatshirt mixed up so obviously I'm an absolute failure at life... AAAUUUUGGGHHH!!!!! (not my real opinion, but which one has the hood?  Or can they both?)

I realize I talk about dreams a lot, but I just can't let them go.  Watching the movie "Inception" didn't help, but it's now my favorite movie...  Will there someday be a technology which will actually allow us to explore the subconscious mind with such a total remembrance of the events which you could subvert? (the dieing to leave thing does seem a setback though) if so, I would like first crack at it please.  Still haven't tried the self-hypnosis thing to see if I can "have a look around" in my head.  I still say it has potential to figure things out.  I wonder who the pioneer in this subject is...

There's really not much on my mind right now... I thought there was, but I guess not...
Happy holidays then!  Spend them with someone you love!

Someday I'll wish upon a star...

And wake up where the clouds are far behind me,
Where troubles melt like lemon drops,
Way above the chimney tops,
That's where you'll find me
...
This is my favorite song now...

Hey Child!

I have a baby cousin who has reached the "runner" age.  This means that he's still small and cute, and oh my word is he curious!  Plus, now he can run away from my aunt, which is kind of hilarious.

Ahh, what a beautiful thing though, for such curiosity to bloom in the little tyke.  The world is opening up to him now that he's out of the "bare essentials" stage, where his only thoughts were probably hungry, tired, or not.  Now he's starting to see what the world is, and he wants to figure it out.  So of course, the second he's set down, he takes off to see this or that, driving parental units everywhere mad, since there's a lot of breakable or dangerous things for a 1-year old (I think he's one now anyway).
If you've read my previous posts, you may have figured out the value I find in curiosity in most things (I still say don't bother with drugs and alcohol, there's one I'll just take their word for it)...  The sheer "newness" of everything, that I now take for granted.  I kind of wish I remember what it was like to discover everything... how to even use my body and why was it that the sun just keeps coming up in the morning?

But now, I'm past that, now the world, though it may not always make sense, everything has some sort of reason for happening...

Hmm, fruit by the foot... that sounds really delicious right now

Dreamin'

I love dreams usually.  I don't recall if I've mentioned that and I'm much too lazy to go check right now...  Anyhow, I firmly believe that dreams can tell you things about yourself and your life, though maybe not every night.  The subconscious mind is linked indirectly to what you do in your daily life, so why can't it throw that back in your face at night, when reality is no restriction to being blatantly told what's up?  Of course, without reality, some dreams are indeed difficult to interpret, plus the added difficulty of often forgetting dreams (so annoying). 
Here's a curious dream I vaguely recall:
Me and an unrecognizable friend of mine were looking in a large book of witchcraft (I have no idea how I knew it was full of witchcraft) and decided to make one of the potions.  It took awhile, since me and this friend didn't think to add the crucible of some sorta powder to the rest of the brew, which was essential.  However, when we did, it fizzed, turned blue and liquidy, and we had to put it into a medium sized bottle quickly...
I drank a swallow of the blue stuff, then finally looked into the book and it read that this potion was a "hallucinogen"... that's when I woke up.
Or DID I wake up!  Maybe I'm actually hallucinating right now and all this world is the dream, and my dream was true...  Darn witches!!!

In truth, I highly doubt that theory, but it was a vivid dream anyhow...

Speaking of dreams, my dream's come true, me and Trocker = Dating, couple-type people! 

I'M SO HAPPY!  Yay!

deep breath

Regarding my last post, I have considerably calmed down and heeded the wisdom of a dear friend of mine to just let loud people yell at walls and not really care about what they think at all.  You just can't argue with stupid, throw every fact at the world at them and they'll throw back some irrelevant insult.

It does make me feel better knowing that they would probably need to consult a dictionary to understand any of my posts, if they bothered to read them, and I'm not even that eloquent a speaker... teehee

A quick invective

I love being in band.  Concert band, marching band, jazz band, you name it!  Yes it can be hard, yes sometimes it can be a little tedious, but doesn't that go for all activities.

Well it seems some rather ignorant folks from my school have decided to make a hatin' group about all of my school's band program today...

why?   ...   Why?  For the love of moses, what is THE FREAKING POINT?!?!?!?
They say we take budget, no wrong, sorry guys, we pay for most of it ourselves and through fundraisers, and I've NEVER been in a coach bus for band, have you for football?  Basketball?  Anything else?  Do I complain?  NO!!!  You guys fricking earned your way to go to other competitions for your fricking sports!!!!  GOOD FRICKING JOB!  So now, you all decide that you need that clever excitement of a hate group?  Why not the band kids?  Why not say we're all fags and other things?!?!  GO AHEAD!

No don't go ahead... I'm sorry. 
...
If I've offended anyone by being in band and enjoying being in band.  I apologize...
...
What else can I do?  I can't do your sports, I've tried, I've failed, can't I do what I want to do, and not have people just stepping on it?
...
I don't mind you doing what you like, I think it's great to follow your passion for things. go for it, I won't say a thing...
...
Can I have that same luxury?
...
Is that too much to ask?
...

Randomness #4

How many "randomness" posts am I going to do?  Well, it would beat the purpose of randomness if I decidided on a number beforehand, now wouldn't it!  How often will I do "randomness" posts?  See previous answer.  If you don't like them, well then bummer!

I've got a date with Trocker on Saturday!
I've got a date with Trocker on Saturday!
I've got a date with Trocker on Saturday!
I've got a date with Trocker on Saturday!

Oh, whenever I repeat myself like that, in my mind I am not just repeating it blandly.  I am singing it, which makes a bit more sense.  So if you'd like, you can put it to any fitting tune, and it may clear things up.  Like allergy spray does!!

Dr. Who.  Good show.  Need to catch up a lot on it though I'm afraid, yes indeed.  Netflix? Maybe?

Oh my gosh, he's wearing a fez!!!  You'll notice i didn't use the phrase "Oh my God"... can't say I like that phrase at all.  I'm a religious guy y'see and using God in such a flippant phrase seems a bit... not blasphemous, that's too strong... oh I don't know, tacky maybe?
Likewise, I detest swearing in nearly all cases, it's just a bit cliche, and frankly I guess I'm old fashioned when it comes to vulgarity.  Ok, that's my rant for this post *insert smiley emoticon here*

I could go for a root beer float... or maybe some dark chocolate.  I get random cravings for random foods sometimes (though it's very often Mac 'n Cheese mmm), there's a theory that I must be pregnant (???)... umm, last time I checked, men don't get that way....  I hope...

I've taken to listening to Pandora radio sometimes, usually while doing homework (Chemistry's getting better now!) and in most cases, Pandora plays music I like!  But how come I got a song from the Curious George Songbook when I was listening to the Muse station?  And the other day, the same station kept playing depressing piano music (which I do have some taste for, but it was nearly every other song!!!  That's no good!)

I had a friend who said it was her dream to climb a giraffe's neck and ride on it's head... In most situations I encourage people to follow their dreams, and this is one of the situations.

PWITCHOW! Let's go make some toast!!! Yeah!

Cookies

Yes cookies, I ate too many cookies yesterday... isn't that just utterly fascinating? 
hmm, it's hard to convey sarcasm in writing, which is bad because I use it quite a bit, in a hopefully non-hurtful way.  I don't like hurting people.

          We got the most snow (on friday/saturday, yes it snowed all day) here that I've seen for as long as I've lived here, and that has been since I was five. It... was... ridiculous....  Church got canceled, schools two hours delayed (which is why I'm writing right now :) ) But now I'm in a sort of winter wonderland-like place thing...

Gosh dang it, I was going to write about something cool and exciting and now it's escaped me as to what it is...  shoot!  Umm...  Ok, guys, bear with me for a moment, I need to think
...
...
...
(think)
...
...
...
Nope fresh out...  Man, my eyes are watery, not cuz I'm emotionally invested in anything, but because I just swallowed a spoonful of tabasco sauce.
This is not because I have masochistic qualities mind you, but rather because a spoonful of the hot stuff actually treats the symptoms of a sore throat!  No joke!  You swallow it down, suffer and cry for about five minutes, and then your throat is golden for 6-10 hours!  It's incredible!  Though it's best for a raw feeling throat, if it's just all gunked up, use lemon juice...

Yeah that's about the limit of my interestingness right now.

So lets all go fly a kite! I don't care what the weather's like!

Oh most amazingness

I'm in a good mood today!!  At first I didn't know hwy since it's just like any ordinary Thursday (though I quite like thursdays) ... woah!  I just realized that when I blog, I think the words I'm writing in a British accent!  That's totally weird... (I'm from the USA in case you were too lazy to check my profile, though I don't blame I suppose)...

RIGHT!  Thursday!  A Good Thursday!
Well, I found out today that our class chose it's class motto as "Veni, Vidi, Vici" which excited me because I'm the guy who randomly submitted that one!  (Had my class known it was me, I frankly doubt it would've won, the price of my nerdiness, hee hee) And it turns out I'm something of a hero in my Broadcast Communications class for my video editing know-how! (I'm slightly a nerd, did I mention that?)  So it just occurred to me that this class is pretty much going to be a breeze,  and I like a good breeze after Chemistry, which isn't so breeze like... (I surrender the prementioned nerdiness due to my lack of mathematical prowess)...


I'm seriously considering a major in video editing...  I know I was planning one in broadcasting with more of a ...  Ok, I confess, when I said considering, a whole awesome idea came to me...  It just came together!

MY NEW, MADE UP ON THE SPOT PLAN

A.) Major in video editing, get a good job there, yadda yadda yadda
B.) Get a good job there, yadda yadda yadda (hoping for something in movies as opposed to normal television)
C. ) with this more advanced editing know-how, I can have money to get good equipment, put my editing and acting skills together (I like acting, did I mention) and become that Youtube sensation I've always (well, not always, but recently) dreamed of being!!  Some of those guys even get paid!!!!  This is incredible...

I'm psyched now!  Can I take college classes yet?  Not just yet though, I'm still looking forward to spending a good deal of time with my... Girlfriend? ... Well, not yet, but very soon, Trocker!  Yes that's right!

And now I'm gonna dance...

Here we go

Hey, this is my thirtieth post!  Good gravy, have I actually written that much?  And this is from a guy who usually fails at essays or any other project involving a lot of writing.

Augh! I'm using a netbook, and the keyboard is just small enough to confuse my fingers, so this is taking a bit longer until I adjust, maybe if I type something repetitively...
so, what's a cardigan?  So, what's a cardigan?  So what's a cardig-  Aha! I've adjusted now (and I only learned what a cardigan was this last month, but at least now i know)

In fact I'm horribly behind on most things "girl" mainly because I've grown up with 5 brothers...  ohhhh man
And I'm just about in the middle, I've got three older, and two younger, which is kinda odd, but now I'm basically the oldest in my house, so it's kinda nice. 
But right, girls.  I don't think its so much that I don't understand them, because no man truly does, as that I'm just underexposed to what they are really like!  All I've known (besides my mother, which really doesn't count) is what they are like at school when they are at least giving minute attempts at fitting in, or hiding bits of themself, which is what most people do at school. 
Ok yes, I do have several female friends whom I've spent time with, but I still can't help feel I'm behind my friends who have sisters and such, I doubt I'm alone in this, but it just baffles me a bit.

          That hardly went anywhere, didn't it?  Well then I'll just say happy holidays, don't over commercialize christmas! It's about other things then presents too y'know!  (party it up on new years though, that's what its for, just don't get drunk)

Huhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm waaaaaaaaaaay too tired to be posting right now...  I went and played some band thing and then partied a bit in the band area...

Yeah, that was really fun actually, but now I'm tired... but you already know that

Trocker is full of life, which is a good thing, I hope I have enough life to keep up.

     I think I'm a fun guy, but if I get down (not terribly common) then I'm down and out (temporarily), a pathetic little problem called seasonal affective disorder(S.A.D. ironically), otherwise known as seasonal depression, but I prefer the term "winter blues".

What is that you ask?
Well a person who has it just has randomly placed depressed days, in the winter.  If you're not privy as to what depression is like, I will regrettably enlighten you.
Take all your ambitions and call them worthless.  Take all your friends and assume they like you out of pity.  Take all your personality defects and multiply them.  Take all your talents and devalue them, focus on how they lack in some areas.  Ignore that any kind of happiness or hope even exists.  Add all these together and you understand what a depressing day is.
    The curious part, for me anyway, is that in this state, I know fully well what's causing it and that most of the things my mind is telling me are false, and yet I'm still irreversibly in the dumps.
    I don't know why I felt compelled to write all that, probably sleep deprivation or something cuz I'm actully in a decent mood.

... this wasn't easy to write though....

Oh, the mind...

I meant to say "hello how are you?"  That is what I was thinking because that's what I meant to say, a normal greeting for a normal event.  Instead I said something more along the lines of "Ya know what's weird?  Wait shoot,  I meant to say him ok hi!  But what's weird is... never mind I'll shut up..."... 

I think the curious thing is that I never told my mouth to say that beforehand...  not one bit, I just wanted an average greeting and now I'm spewing random words like a crazy person!  Where did that come in? 

I admit, a small part of me is annoyed at myself for being a bit of a dork, which I'll openly admit is one of my traits.  However, I'm also slightly intrigued by the way my mind and body work in conglomeration!  Where did the thought process get corrupted from my brain to my mouth?  Why did it sound so much more nervous then I intended it to be, I didn't feel very nervous I think...  What an interesting, but confusing, thing.  The same thing goes for my eye-hand coordination, which is a joke.  I do not catch footballs.  It just really very rarely happens.  What gets me though, is that I can see it coming, and I think (this is an exploded format of the thought process, I confess) "Ah, here comes the ball, to catch it I simply reach my hands out and grasp it at the right time!"  and then I grunt when the ball hits me in the chest because my hands missed!  The funny thing would be that I totally knew what i had to do, and I know my mind isn't that slow (I'm good at video games, so I'm pretty sure my reaction time is good) but my body just seems to disagree?

  So who's in charge?  The mind or the body?  I always used to figure, of course the brain is, it runs all the functions, but now that I think about it, I wonder if the body doesn't get it's fair say.  Or maybe there's a whole unexplored part of the mind which just loves to confuse things (maybe I should look more deeply into self-hypnosis)... Wait, no, I'm going to take that out of parentheses, I'm going to look into self-hypnosis, and see if there is anything to the attempt of visualizing what's going on in the mind!

I'll tell you how it goes sometime, but for now, I hope your not as confused as I feel right now...

What's been learned

-Sometimes a faked smile is worse than a frown.
-Making someone laugh is better than finding a way to laugh for yourself.
-Giving up hope does indeed make someone hopeless.
-The phrase "no offense" can very often be a lie
-Conforming works for some people, but not all, thank goodness
-Socialism would work if it weren't for lazy people

That's not all, but it was on my arbitrary mind

Randomness #3

Ya know what's kinda dumb to me?  Well, since I can't hear your guess I'll tell you I suppose.
Fake fruit bowls.... umm, why?... I mean, I guess if you had to choose a food to display, fruit would be the best since it's the most colorful usually... but it's... fake...
I suppose my biggest problem with it is that it's a bait and trick thing... You see fuit, thus you start feeling a bit hungry and hey, there's some fruit! Yum!  You go to grab the fruit and it has LIED TO YOU!!!!  (although frankly I'm more of a veggie man myself)

   I like getting pseudo-worked up about things, like the fruit bowl idea.  Do I actually care that much?  No I don't but it was sorta fun to blow off some steam at it for kicks.  I'm actually pretty laid back unless something really ruffles my feathers...

      If curiosity killed the cat, but cats have nine lives.... can it safely be curious eight times?  And what was it so curious about that caused it's decease anyway?
My theory:  The dryer  (I went to a barn where they accidentally lost a cat that way... :(   )

    Kio estas amo?

    I'm really in the mood for a pizza right now, one of those frozen vareities, but regrettably I'm at work right now AND I have no school today, so I'm working a full time day...  This would be ok if my job was any fun at all (I work in an office, which pays well, but all I do is click buttons and pick up papers from the printer from time to time...)  Mind you, blogging during work isn't cutting into my efficiency because the website I work from takes quite a lot of time to load the next page, so I'm typing while it loads, no worries!

    My word for today is Superfluous, which means redundant, but is much more fun to say than redundant...

I recorded my first song with the ukulele, but I'm not gonna put it up until I redo it, because it needs some work.  But here's a spoiler:  The song is about my marching band's colorguard and how dang awesome they are.

(Trocker's in colorguard, but that's coincidence this time)

I'm straight, but have "flamboyant tendencies" as a friend of mine called them... I didn't think so 'til I realized that I kinda want to wear a scarf... weird... but I don't think I will, mainly because I'm too lazy to get one and enough people already ask if I'm gay... (which I would be if I didn't like girls and did like guys, neither of which are true)

Peace in!  As opposed to peace out... makes more sense to me now

Another episode of school blogging

Slacking off?  Hardly, I just have free time is all.   A LOT of free time when it comes to my broadcasting class, which I admittedly took because I already pretty much knew all about it... and my friend Spo is in it, who is also in a few of my older video projects (you will not be seeing them on this blog, because they were early attempts and suck...) so I use the time in that class to finish my project (10 minutes of my time) finish Spo's project (5 minutes, I still want to win) and then pretty much look stuff up on youtube or play with the recording equipment (which no one else in my class knows how to use, they kinda took it as a slack class as well it seems).
     
       So, I talked earlier about Esperanto, and I think I'll actually elaborate on it, because believe it or not, I actually motivated myself to start learning the stuff!  So I guess I'd best actually explain what Esperanto is...
Esperanto is a language, invented by a Russian physician in the 1800's, who was also Jewish I believe, and saw that the language barrier was causing all sorts prejudice, hatred, holocaust, yadda yadda yadda (Hitler didn't like Esperantists) and so he made Esperanto (which means "hope" in the language Esperanto)
He made this language to be the perfect 2nd language for everyone, so we could all communicate without paying millions for translators, yippee.
A few quirks that I love about Esperanto:
-Supposedly the easiest language to learn
-NO, I repeat, NO silly exceptions to rules in grammar or spelling, like in most english.  If it has letters, they all make sounds (the alphabet is mostly latin, but has a few added letters)
-Sounds vaguely spanish, or italian.
-is spoken by a few million people all over the world, there are even "native" speakers (their parents taught them)

I personally believe that Esperanto would be great if everyone knew it, worth a shot eh?
"but M.B.easy, think about how many countries who have learned English as the second language would have to rewrite so many things?"
Can ya blame me for suggesting more job opportunities in the linguistic department?
Do I think I'll ever see an Esperanto overhaul in my life?  No, probably not, but I can still support it right?

SO!  If you want to join me on my little escapade here and chat me up in this language (which I still don't too much of, but I'm getting there) there's a free online course!  It's at en.lernu.net if you're interested

gis revido! (see ya later)

Yesmaybe!

Well my fine friends, I believe I have taken the steps to allow you guys to actually comment on my posts without needing some kinda account!!! Yay, joy, whoop!  And to be completely honest, I would love it if anyone out there did so I could actually have feedback and feel all loved or whatever (or hated I guess, depending on what you comment ... hmmm) so there's a fun stuffz.

       Also, this last week I got an amazing surprise which is known as a BRAND NEW LANIKAI UKULELE (it came early!!!!)  So I'm back to jamming!  I can make jams!  I should make a jam jam... or a jelly jam... (I deeply apologize for that)... but anyway, I do have a few songs, and have full intention to possibly record them, if I get time in my school's studio (which is the best part of my school) or if I get a better microphone for my computer...  By the way, I'm a bit low on original song ideas (I got plenty of generic ones) so if anybody wants to leave me something they'd want to hear about accompanied by a ukulele...  you can comment now...  I might go to youtube someday...
...
...
(just thought about Trocker for no real reason, and now am very distracted...)

Music

Music is amazing, not saying I like all of it, that is definitely not true, but that as an element to life, music just plain sticks out. 
As you already know, I like ukeleles (when played in a more modern-like way), and I'm getting a new one soon, possibly next week! But, I certainly have a weird taste in music...
I like:
-Dramatic movie soundtracks (or any orchestrated music like that)
-Indie rock
-Classic rock
-some techno
-Marching band!
-and more
I do not tolerate most mainstream music, not because it's mainstream, but because it is almost always shallow.
The four themes of mainstream music arrrrrrrrrrrrrrre:
A. Sex!
B. Drugs and Money!
C. Passionate love/hate (which CAN be ok, but usually isnt with mainstream artists)
D. The World's on fire (Again, this is usually unspecific and just dull from mainstreamers)

Am I generalizing?  I'm sorry, I know there's more to some of it, but the good ones are so far and rare to find that I'd rather just go indie.
Now, I'm only talking about lyrics here, for music itself, I have put together the perfect band (according to me)  It's Got a Ukulele (duh), a Pipe organ (The best instrument when played modernly, but it has to be the big grand pipe organ, go look up Intervention, by Arcade Fire), Acoustic guitar or two (just not as much of a fan of electric guitars usually), a Cello(s) and viola (Yes please!) Drum set I guess, and a double bass (played or plucked, doesnt matter)...
if you DO find a band with all these, please send me the name and you will win a fabulous prize of some Dehydrated Water!  (You pay shipping)

Jam on!

It's true!

        I have those nagging little dreams.  The kind that come and go, but if chased, last for a long time.  Like the ukulele.  I totally picked it up on a whim and now I'm shelling out $60 to replace my broken one (which my older brother semi-repaired, but I want a new one anyways). 
      Recently I wanted to learn Esperanto. (a made up language that... ah whatever, you can look it up, its pretty cool).  That wish has died out somewhat, who knows if it'll come back?  For now, I dont have the time.  Also, I considered taking up track, though I'll admit that went away quickly (I can be lazy).
    Now I'm looking at youtube.  What it would be to be a youtube sensation!  A Neil Cicierga (potter puppet pals) or Charlie McDonnell (he's more popular in England, but I like his work) type of guy!  Oh man, I think I maay even possibly have the dry sense of humor, and I can play ukulele and sing (sorry Charlie, I didn't even know about you before I picked it up).  The key thing I'm missing is RESOURCES!!!
-No laptop of my own (yet, christmas is coming!)
-Digital camera records in uneditable format
-Poor editing program anyway
-Old digital camera has battery life of possibly 15 minutes
-Little brother thinks he can just stick his hand in whenever he wants
-More time!!!
Ah well, maybe when I go to college and get better at editing...
Hey I got my college apps in!  Yay!
-love you all

School blogging...

(put it to any melody)
Sittin' next to my friend Spo in class.

Gonna hopefully get an A, and pass.

Hope I don't get hit by a train.

That would cause suffering and pain.

Trocker is definitely the kinda girl for me.

It's really quite a fine boost to my reality.

La la la la la la la la la la laaaaaaaa

...umm... sheep... say...  baaaaaaaaaa

SPACKLE
(Awesome instrumental solo)

Dark day...

Actually, yesterday was the dark day.

Why?
...
..
..
.

I BROKE MY UKULELE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PWITCHOW!!!!

and again I say PWITCHOW!!!!

PWITCHOW (pwih-chow) exclamation
A word which means "holy toast, what an awesome (noun)"

So yes I must PWITCHOW what life has been, because it has been awesome. 
...except chemistry class, but I'm getting a little better
BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT!
I'll start with last night, where I went to a dance, but no normal crappy dance where people grind to awful, mainstream hip-hop. NO!  This was a SWING dance, where you actually have to know how to dance!  Oh yeah!  By the way, I went to this dance with some good friends of mine, one of which is a girl who I will call Trocker, because she really likes Timelord-Rock (Trock!), and because I really like her. But, we had a great time there, PLUS my birth-a-day (my 18th birthday) is tomorrow, which lands on the same day we're doing a big band concert, which I've decided I'm happy about because most of my friends are in band anyhow!  Plus there's a marching band thing (my last marching band thing... ever)
...
...
(perspective)
...
...
Well, anyway, Trocker's gonna be there since she's in the colorguard, and that's another perk, but that's all for tomorrow.
TONIGHT I'm hosting a settlers of Catan party (if you don't know what that is, it's a pretty fun board game...a bit like monopoly but BETTER!) which should be awesome if people remember to show up =)
 I'm just in a good mood today!  No school either, even though its a friday! (end of the term)

Everybody be HAPPY!!!!  YEAH!
love y'all
-M.B.easy

Whippow!

Oh man was I ever tired this morning!  Ask me why!!!

Ok, I'll tell you!  It's because I was at State Honors Choir (which is where good singing kids from all of my state get together to have an epic concert)  It was a two day event type deal.  We drove up (I was driving, which probably scared everyone else in the car cuz I'm a leadfoot)  Got to the hotel and chilled (We being me, a few kids from my school, and one other girl from a neighboring city).  Then was rehearsal, which was just fine until I had to leave and throw up :p which was decidedly unpleasant.  I don't think I was sick, just a bit stressed is all, but that's cleared up....   and most my roomates were dinks who didn't bed down til 1 in the morning cuz they were busy talking about women like they were CATTLE!!!!  That did make me quite angry, but I regret to say I held my tongue (partially cuz I was still a bit woozy)... Thursday was better though, with many rehearsals, a college fair where I got a lot of free stuff and an epic concert.  Glad I had the chance to go.

       And now it's halloween weekend!  Got a party tomorrow with some friends and a quite fine girl, who I'm still trying to think of a codename for... I'll get back to you on that.

-Peace out

Randomness #2

I've been recently informed that someone is actually reading this blog!  I wonder if it's plural someones?  What do I DO?!?!!?   Ohman ohman ohman... cool.

       So these past few weeks have been adventurous.  Owned state marching band for the fourth year in a row (every award they've got is ours).  And now I'm done with marching band!  ... Now what?
          Biked 32 miles yesterday, still sore, but I felt all accomplishy, so it's all good.  Also went to potentially the best church dance o' my life. because it was just really good.  Side effect: Awkward silences or such now make me think of Abraham Lincoln, I could explain that, but it still wouldn't make any sense.

        Ok, here's a slight pet peeve:  I wear a fedora, not to make a statement or anything cool like that, but simply because I like fedoras, and then I don't technically have to comb my hair (which isn't much of a problem since my hair's short anyhow).   People, if you take my hat to be funny/flirty/whatever, that is totally cool, so long as I do not have to chase you down to get it back.  Taking it, and then hiding it is what 7-year-old girls do.  (not actually thinking of anyone in particular here)

     Word of the week (month?): Pulchritudinous:   Physically attracive, comely
It's actually an english word!!!!!  Though it's origin is american, so I guess we've dented the english language more than I thought, which is fine by me, I like creativity!  (But if I ever hear the phrase "Speak American" there is a good chance I may run away)

          People, hate is bad.  I'm not saying all kinds of hate, it is indeed ok to hate a certain kind of food because it does in fact taste like death, but people are not worth hating.  Even if they are obnoxious twits to you or something, don't degrade yourselves by letting them make you hate them.  It just makes life easier (from my own perspective, which you don't have to share I suppose, march to the beat of your own drummer).

Love y'all
M.B.easy

Hooha

I'm in a great mood today!  Marching band is winning everything (except for a techie fluke that cost us best perc yesterday  grrr...)  But everything else is going amazinglike!
I have decent grades (except in chemistry, which turned out to be a math class in disguise, grrr math) and I'm in good shape since I took gym!  Life is indeed goodly to me right now! 

Although apparently migraines don't always cause pain strangely enough, which I found out yesterday as well.  It was really fun being dizzy and confused though.  I suppose I know what it's like to feel high (though I won't ever do drugs, yuck)  it's weird...

Ah well, cook some steak!  And then give it to me, and I will give to you a chili, we shall have a chili-steak trade system!
And then we'll go zorbing!

What's the deal

Steve Irwin.
AKA "The Crocodile Hunter", never should have died, simply because he is (was) awesome.  He really went out and tried to find beauty in EVERYTHING that had to do with critters, generally of the dangerous sort.

I mean, who else could be sitting in a big group of Komodo Dragons (one of the coolest animals ever, by the way) talking about how he could die at any moment, and then interjecting how beautiful and majestic they were!  It's incredible!  And then he swims through jellyfish, comes out with a bunch of stings, then says it was great... wowzers
He's really an original guy, knew what he wanted, and probably didn't want to go except the way he did... by some huge creature...

Still, wish he had lasted longer, seeing as he was cool

Mmmm...

I had a good monday today, which in itself is rare:
-no homework
-no SCHOOLWORK (we played family feud in gym, yay!)
-Managed to talk to somebody whom I usually can't stammer a sentence around
-And now I have the rest of it off!

All in all I'm quite pleased with how this monday turned, I honestly can't think of anything that would turn it on it's side or make it actually a monday...
In fact now I'm not convinced it's monday, due to the fact that it's been too good.

ALL RIGHT FESS UP!!! Who messed with me so that I thought that this obvious Friday was a Monday, cuz I owe you a nutty bar or something, cuz it's awesome.
        Or maybe some mambas cuz I bought like 13 packs of the things.
Mambas are delicious.

...This is one of my more shallow posts isn't it.  Oh well, go have a nice day, whoever reads this!

Somewhere over the rainbow...

Are blogs going out of style?  Ya don't hear much about them much anymore except for those guys who blog about political stuff and then make some cash...
(speaking of cash, I made 17 bucks playing my ukulele before a marching band show!!!  That one song I wrote paid off!!!)
But I don't want to get into political things because our voting system is cracked anyways (Seriously, technology today totally makes the electoral college obsolete... it's mere tradition to keep it I think), but that's what I'm not talking about... although if the electoral college WERE gotten rid off, third parties and independents would have a little more of a chance...


 Ok I give up... I will speak politically for just a little bit.
First of all, I firmly believe that if you go way too far left OR right politically, you will find a fair share of imbeciles.  People who are unwilling to compromise and begin to care more about winning then the actual issues.  Arguments become memorized and not evaluated and senators only make points so they can say that they made a point, not to try to sway anybody.  
          Now of course I realize that some people simply think that only leftist or rightist policies are best and that they actually do because they think the facts are right... still... stubbornness ...

this is why I'm moderate...

Now I'm done politicing, ask me about my ukulele, I'm learning somewhere over the rainbow!
Gonna make me some serious cash!  (not sure if it is legal to play on the streets yet, must ask the officer at my school)

Well fine then

I'm beginning to take the hint that nobody is actually reading these, but frankly, I don't really mind all that much, my only regret is that I wasted a decent pen-name!
So I suppose I can just treat this as a journal of sorts...
I started to play ukulele recently, I'm already writing a song for it, really a simple piece, but I'm liking how it sounds so far.

Also marching band is going well, hope to win our first show tomorrow.
 Adios for now folks

Randomness #1

Stupid questions I need answered:
-Where is Waldo RIGHT now?  I need to know!
-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck Norris?
-Who cares?

The perfect response to any question: FRANCE!!

Not OCD about anything except:
-Word pronunciations
-Realizing that JUST because you don't like something, that doesn't mean it automatically sucks, just that your opinion is different than someone else's (usually)


In truth, most of my family is borderline Obsessive compulsive... EXCEPT ME!!! yay?

Although, having an older brother who IS OCD can be convenient cuz if you give him something to fix/figure out then he will not stop until it is finished... just make sure ya don't give them sudoku books.

I pick up projects and leave them half finished a lot, but that's actually cool because I can then go back to them in a year or so (although I never did learn much of guitar).

Here's a good one:

A trucker pulled into a cafe after a long overnight haul to grab some well deserved breakfast.  The waitress came up and he ordered a big plate of pancakes, another plate of bacon and eggs, and a large glass of apple juice.  He was about to dig in when three tough looking bikers strolled into the diner looking for trouble.
All three looked to the trucker and then sat down at his table.  One of them grabbed his pancakes, another his eggs 'n bacon, and the last one takes his apple juice.  All three then proceeded to eat his food right in front of him!
The trucker just sat calmly through out all of this, payed the tab when the bikers finished, and then left the cafe.
One biker turned to the waitress and said, "He wasn't much of a fighter was he", she replied, "And he was sure in a hurry too!  He just ran over three motorcycles on his way out!"

-Peace out

Normalacy theory

I have a theory on what normality is.
When somebody thinks of a "normal person" what do they think?  Usually the guy in the cubicle living an average not-so exciting life who never does anything that would totally offend/weird out someone else.  And there is nothing wrong at all with being normal.  If there weren't a lot of people like this there wouldn't be a normal.
       Of course there's no absolute specific "normal" because everyone is different in at least some way, which means that there is room for diversity even in the ranks of normal people, thus making it not a set kind of person so much as a wall or boundary.  Being "Normal" doesn't mean absolutley the same as someone else who is also "normal"
      And then there are the "different" people (Yours truly included) These people have broken some part of the normal boundary, do something that's strange, work somewhere odd, just act ,well, not normally at times.
         Depending on whether the difference is offensive is by what word is used to describe the difference.  For instance, if someone is not so normal but everyone loves them for that fact (Take someone like Johnny Depp, you can't honestly say he's normal) they are known as "Unique" or "One of a kind".  However, if someone's difference is just that they do things for reasons no one understands except the person (Folks with Asberger's usually fall into here, though they can sometimes be the funniest people I know) these people are oftentimes calle "peculiar"  "odd"  "strange" "weird"... etc. (This is what I would call my own category, though I don't have Asberger's).  Generally, the "not normal" state still has limits on how far out one acts or anything like that

Angel food cake sounds really good right now.

         Oh, and by the way, the limits of the not-norm folks can be broken too but in order to do so, big laws are usually broken (according to this theory).

So there you go, there is a such thing as normal!
M.B.easy

of COURSE I'm not blogging from work... maybe

Well actually, I'm still getting quite a bit of work done, I can type pretty quickly and all of my jobs are pretty outdated and semi-useless I'm beginning to notice... and I get paid well too!!!  But I like the job really, even if it can be dull.  The coworkers are all cool (though most of them are at least 25 years older than me) and I get a lot of hours.  All of it goes to after-high school life (AKA college and a mission). 

Why can't I grow wings?  I think it's time that my body responded more directly to my concious mind. 

On an semi-related note, I think that the placebo effect needs to be looked into more often in many cases.  The idea that you can only think about doing an excercise for awhile and then having that muscle get stronger?  Awesome!!!! (I tried this myself by imagining doing sit ups for awhile... my abdominals actually felt kinda tired). 
Also is there an anti-placebo effect?  Where you give someone the real pill but tell them it's a fake?  If that worked, it might work against weaker poisons... that would be nice.
Is hypnosis the same as the placebo effect?  I bet they're similar.

See previous post...

Well... that's the truth of it really...

Quandary

Pretty women....
Pretty women vex me.  Why?  Well because I'm a shy and ofttimes awkward individual, so most women who I do think are pretty do not even know me at all.
Something which I can't seem to be able to change...


...gosh dang it

Lasts

Well, I'm beginning to count lasts since this is my last year in high school...

Last drill week in marching band...
Last time I get my schedule...
Last time I'll have to do a lot of things....

It seems like, although the school year hasn't even started, I'm beginning to prepare to leave a phase of my life behind...

woah...

that's like...

weird... and scary...

I like making dots after phrases...

But it's still weird...

The new life I mean...

Hope I can handle it

C'mon guys

Well, all the new anxieties are coming up for this soon to be school year... senior year...
COLLEGEAPPLICATIONSGIRLSCLASSESGRADESPICTURES... yeah

and yet.... I'm sort of looking forward to school for some odd reason... 
Probably the whole camaraderie, opportunities yadda yadda yadda
Frankly what I really can't stand to hear is "school is stupid" "Learning is dumb" or "school's a prison"... stuff like that.
MAYBE I'm being a little preachy here, but we have it good!  Virtually free schooling up through high school, with the technology and know-how to really learn some stuff, and I'm FINALLY beginning to enjoy learning a little, even just so I can use the info as an ice breaker ("hey there!  Did you know that storms are divided different cell groups with supercell being the strongest and most deadly?!?!  Who woulda thought") Alright, I need work, but what I'm saying is that an empty head leaves lots of room for stupidity.  I don't want to be stupid!
How is school stupid?!  Where else will you get the chance to play expensive instruments, cut open a shark, learn how to use every art form ever, use a TV studio (exclusive possibly to my school)... what I'm saying is that after high school all of that stuff will probably get REALLY EXPENSIVE unless you make it your career, in which case everything else gets costy and no teacher will teach you for free.
(not that all teachers at the school are competent, but there are enough that are to make it worth it)
The fact is that school opens opportunities (even ones that aren't technically in the curriculum, I've got a streak of mischief >:)  )
also, saying learning is dumb, if taken seriously, will cause one to be unlearned... which is in fact another word for DUMB... irony much?
And school being a prison... wellllll ok, I will admit there are some similarities in a FEW things:
-If you don't go, you're breaking the law (except seniors)
-You are assigned a number (class ID)
-throughout the day you are required to go to different rooms and fill out required slips etc.

Alright I will confess that some of that can grind me down and that summer vacation is well placed, along with other vacations.  I'm not trying to come across as some nerd here (though frankly I am a bit of one) who worships school, outside activities, parties and such are totally part of the survival method.
But I do not hate school.

The epic of M.B.easy battling the Wasp

After a trip to the library
M.B.easy sat in his home
Not knowing that the scary
beasts were a roam


He stayed at the table
With his pizza to eat
When the wasp, strong and able
flew down by his feet


Faster than falling water
M.B.easy sprang from his chair
To arm with ready swatter
To kill the beast, he did swear


But the bug had disappeared
And so he sat once more
The end of his feast neared
And he forgot about that flying whore ...           (sorry)

 As the dishes were put away
The wasp dove upon him
But to the wasps dismay
M.B.easy was quick to move a limb


For his weapon his hand did gripe
The wasp came from behind
but a fast and random swipe swipe
Left the bug flightless and blind


It pitifully buzzed upon the kitchen floor, done

M.B.easy planned to show no mercy,
for he knew he would've received none


Being slain by the swatter the wasp did not like
But it was what the man had to do
Hoping this would prevent a wasp army strike
Hoping it would scare off any wasps anew






I really hate wasps...

Oh boy...

Going on a 4-5 hour car drive today...
Fortunately it is to see people whom I love quite a lot (J & D).
Plus I have found that long expanses of time doing nothing can awaken a creative side to me which gets bad and good ideas flowing!


or maybe I'll just play video games, whatever...

Hi there!

Well hello anyone who has found the time to read my arbitrary flying thoughts.  Don't worry if you don't know what arbitrary means because I didn't either, but rather found it in the thesaurus because "random" (which was my first choice) just sounds too... pointless. (Arbitrary: Whimsical/chance).

             What I want to first throw out there is the whole concept of blogging, or other versions of online thought, itself!  The unique thing to find about it is that it's really mostly unique to the upcoming generation of folks 15-25 ish.  The older generation generally does not get involved in the throwing of their own thoughts or anything on the web for all their friends or just the whole plain world to see.  In fact, I've heard from some of the older generation that they consider things like blogging or facebook/myspace is really nasty "Oversharing" DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN  (my only limit is twitter, that really is a little much).
My question:  Who is right?  Is this a right or wrong?  (man I wish there were more black & white issues!)
Being able to tell what someone thinks about something at the touch of a button is indeed nice sometimes.  It can help you find people who maybe share your opinions or just to see if a friend is having a bad day plus it's kinda fun to just websurf for cool facts or whatever, and what's wrong with that?!
On the other hand, a little too much sharing can be obnoxious or even dangerous!  Frankly cyberstalking/bullying and even identity theft (or the like) happen more with everyone, smart or simple, on the internet somehow.  So what is there to do?
WISEN UP!!!!
The information and oversharing age is here to stay! (though I still dislike twitter) Right or wrong really can't apply, so the best that anyone can do is take advantage of the ease of information travel, while being careful to not give out TOO much and watch who is on their friend list(s).  With a little precaution, I believe that utilization of this age's resources can be promising, or at least entertaining.
What's wrong with that?

Well, that's my first blog entrance, I doubt that they will all be this long, and I bet they will improve.
Go do awesome things
M. B.easy