Depth: Unknown planes of thought

I've decided to publish a few more of my mind excursions on my blog. All of them will be called "Depth: *******".  I'd like to say that this is mostly for my benefit, so that I don't forget these little mental "excursions", but I hope you like reading them, even if only to wonder how crazy I am.  (of course they have a few names for supposedly crazy people who try new things like this: Inventors, scientists, and psychological pioneers...)
    I'll start now.
         Now, before I decided to try to get back to those mysterious tunnels in my mind, I have to let you know that I was angry.  Very angry at some jerks who had been messing with a couple nice friends of mine.  And not just dramatic, "ha ha" messing, this was some serious stuff here.  That kind of thing just gets me into a huff...  So in this wrathful state, I thought maybe if I explored my mind a bit, it would calm me down.  It wasn't as easy to get into the deep meditative state that I need to be in to explore.  The candle kept flickering, but eventually I got to the room with the steps and water, yadda yadda yadda (confused?  Read my first "depth" post to understand).  There was something wrong though.  I could literally "hear" and "see" (yes in my mind, of course it's not real) the flash of what I could only think of as gunshots or firecrackers.  It was a bit disconcerting.  I proceeded to the large hole in the ground, while "underwater", attached my retracting ankle rope and swam in.
         I'm learning now, that even though I consider this "place" to be the very depths of my mind, currently undiscovered, they do reflect on what my conscious mind and body are doing.  I know this because the tunnels I "swam" into were going berserk.  There were more gunshot/firecracker things going on, and there were now six tunnels, where there had only been five before.  The new tunnel, on the top right, was smoking, and there were voices coming from it.  I decided to go to the tiny "help section" tunnel on the bottom to see what was going on.  Oh, and although there was still some black on the normally silver walls of the tunnel, there was also a ruby red coating in some places as well.  Anyhow, inside the help tunnel, there was the mental copy of myself.  "He" didn't look quite as calm as last time I had been there, but explained that currently under a state of stress, anger, and sympathy, this place shot it up in it's raw state.  The extra tunnel on top was a tunnel of emotion, and that to go in was at my own risk.  Naturally, I wanted to explore it right away, which the copy of me understood fully.
        So on in I went to the top tunnel, which was indeed smoking and had voices coming from it.  Going inside wasn't easy.  I honestly cannot describe all the things that were in their.  I don't think it was like an LSD trip though (which I've never tried, and don't plan to) because I was in control of my self, just the tunnel was full of things indescribable.  I could tell what the voices were saying though, there were two of them.  The first one was a high, autotuned/synthesized-like voice just saying "I need you" repeatedly.  The second one made less sense at the time, but it was saying in a lower synthesized voice "Your teeth are so static, and the lion is dead".  I've never once heard that phrase in my life.  Ever.  And yet there it was, coming from a box in a tunnel in my brain.  Anyway,  at this point I began to think that maybe this wasn't the best time to continue and went a little faster than normal to the entrance of the huge tunnel, and then back up the steps into reality.  And in the end, when I came out,  I was more relaxed.  Go figure.

       MY INTERPRETATION:  Pretty basic.  I was in a higher state of emotion, and it reflected on my deeper mind (I'm gonna think of a cooler word than "deeper mind", and I don't think it's quite my "subconscious" ... I'll get back to you on that..."  As for the voices, "I need you" was probably just my inclination to help people in need and such.  Nothing freaky.  The whole static teeth and lion thing are different.  I had to look up static and found out it meant unmoving in a way.  So apparently my teeth are unmoving and there's a dead cat around... Nah, just kidding, I really do have more theory than that!  I think the whole thing reflects my fear of not being able to help.  I had already talked to the people who were having the troubles, and had hopefully given some reassurance to them, but I wasn't sure.  I was afraid my saying anything had helped (or my teeth were static) and that I would at worst be a burden to them (the same way a dead lion would be)....
          Trust me, this weirds me out too.  I'm pretty sure I'm not insane though.  Don't worry.  =)

Depth: The last tunnel

Right, back to the quandary of the brain.

            I never explored the tunnel on the top of the large one. Don't really know why, maybe I was just done with putzing around my brain for a bit, but I did enter the one on the right. This is the one my “help section” told me linked to my senses. This tunnel wasn't only silver, but cyan as well (another favorite color, but I have no idea why it was here). And on the walls were different... oh what's a good word.... panels, with different colors.

My hearing panel was damaged. It had ugly yellow bits and was sparking a bit. This makes sense, my hearing's not what it should be. However, I pressed my “ear” to it and began to hear a conglomeration of sounds that I've heard throughout my life, a lot of it was music. I went onto the “taste” panel. Sure enough, when I pressed my tongue to it, I began to taste, or rather remember tastes, which I had experienced throughout my whole life. The only other sense I dabbled with was sight, and that one I didn't stay long enough to really see much at all. The sight panel had a scope type thing to see through, by the way. The other senses I left alone, not sure why, but it was time to return to the real world. (was this world real? It seemed real to me, and is that what should count?)

My retracting rope pulled me back up to the top of the tunnels' entrance, and I swam back to the steps. To leave this trance is almost the same as entering it. Every step I took up the stairs brought me closer back to the real world. When I opened the door, I was put back into the abyss with nothing but that candle. Extinguishing the candle, I could feel myself “ascending” (that's quite honestly what it feels like) back to myself. If you try anything like this, do not just hop up after you open your eyes, your body is actually to relaxed for that to be pleasant.

So that's it, I said I would tell you all what happened when I tried this mind exploration. Did I omit things? Psh, yeah! Obviously I don't want to tell you EVERYTHING that flies around in my arbitrary mind, but you get a good healthy gist of it. So, if that was at all interesting, and you feel like commenting, I welcome it. Tell your friends, I don't care!

And above all, I hope you have a nice day!

Depth: Second and Third tunnels

I returned, with my retracting ankle rope, to the place with five tunnels. This time I chose to go into the largest one in the middle. This also had blackness on the walls, but there were lots of silver patches everywhere, which was reassuring. This tunnel was a bit more confusing. I figured out that it was my present and very recent thoughts. Trocker was there, with me, but it wasn't me because I could see myself, if that makes any sense. Neither of them acknowledged my existence near them, which makes sense since they were only thoughts anyhow. I honestly don't remember very much from this tunnel, even though I'm writing very shortly after I made this little pilgrimage, but I do recall that this tunnel had floating thoughts and memories, they looked like bits of fog (fog underwater?) and if one hit me, then I immediately pictured something that had been on my mind at some point, in this case, a movie me and my little brothers had made the other day. It was gone quickly, and I don't remember being hit by any more. This tunnel was not very “deep” because it was present thought, which doesn't always stick around, especially with me, as I get distracted very often.

At this point, I used my rope to come back to the larger area with the five tunnels. This time I took the small tunnel on the bottom, which I managed to “squeeze” through. (I'd like to remind you, that in all truth, I'm simply laying down with my eyes closed, but it did seem real to me). I found a small room, and a copy of myself sitting contentedly on some seat. Unlike the thoughts in the other tunnels, this one could see me and said hello. He went on to explain that this tunnel was sort of the “help toolbar” tunnel and that he could possibly explain some things that confused me. I asked if he could go with me. He tried, but the tunnel shut when he went near it. This was because my mind was not open enough yet, he explained (I explained? This thought did look and sound like me, though a bit more calmly than I usually act). He told me that if I continued to practice I would open up more tunnels than the five here, and that there was even a tunnel to a library of my memories. Also, the tunnel on the right was a tunnel of my senses, and that I should try checking it out. Figuring it was I good idea, I left the small tunnel and reentered the zone of five tunnels...

What a curious thing is the mind.

Depth: The first tunnel

I did it.  It was spooky.  It was awesome.
             I pulled myself into a deeply meditative trance and I managed to explore my own mind.  Let me tell you about it.
          I began with how I normally self-hypnotize myself, which is totally relaxing my body and chasing away all thoughts by imagining only darkness and a single candle.  This candle is where any thoughts that I have are fed into and then burned, thus clearing my mind.  Soon, I can barely feel my body at all.  Then I float, yes it feels a lot like floating, to a door.  Upon opening this door, I find myself in a large area full of water.  I'm at the top of ten steps.  What's incredible here, is that with every step I take everything that I "see" (even though my physical eyes are closed) and "feel" (even though my physical body is just laying down) starts to become more and more real to me.
           When I reach the fifth step, I begin to enter the water, and let me tell you, it's almost freaky how real it seems.  It feels cool, but not unpleasantly so.  I continue down the steps until I reach the "floor" at this point, the water's only waist deep and I have to fall into it if I want to swim.  I do this and as the water gets deeper I can feel an almost total sense of release.  All my muscles are relaxed and I just float for a bit.
          Even if you're not interested in any self-hypnosis or "mind-searching" I recommend the process I just described for relaxation, cuz man it really works! (for me anyhow)
            Normally, if I were to only try to self-hypnotize, or even just relax, this water is about how far I go into this trance.  Maybe swim around a bit and open things that I find, but it's really just to relax.  Disclaimer: If you do ever try this and get this far, MAKE SURE that you won't have any distractions which will snap you back into your physical body, because it will quadruple your heart-rate for a few seconds and basically defeat any relaxation purposes you had.  It's that deep.
           As it is, I was not here only to release tension, but to explore my mind.  I found out how quickly when I saw a large dark hole, sloping down into who-knows-where, off to the left of the "pool".  Since it's my mind, I imagined up a rope, which would attach to my "ankle" and to an anchor at the top of the hole.  Later on, this proved to be a good idea.  The rope would stretch for however, long I want it to, and would pull myself up when I needed it to, and like this I "swam" into the hole.  The tunnel I entered was dark, but not long, and I soon came up to five more tunnels, a large one going straight, three medium sized ones on the top, left, and right of the large one, and a small one which would only barely "fit" me through.  I began with the one on the left.
       Upon entering, I began to wonder why my mind had chosen all the walls to be black so far.  I went to investigate and was surprised to find out that the black was a coating, and that underneath was silver, which is my favorite color.  Speculating, I realized the black was put there by times of depression, which dulls things I enjoy.  I was kind of down yesterday which is possibly why the entrance was all black, though that's only one theory.  Anyhow, I went down the tunnel (and it did turn more silver) and found that it branched into two more tunnels.  The two tunnels were my perceptions of the future, based upon being accepted to BYU, where I've recently applied.  The choice of "did not get accepted" was completely clogged with confusion, which looks green, twisted, and is not very malleable.  In this case, it completely blocked any entrance to that one tunnel.  The "did get accepted" tunnel had some floating confusion, but I was able to "push" past it and "see" what I thought may become of my future.  I saw, floating around, images of myself going to college, majoring in video editing, going on a two-year mission (something men do in my church when they hit 19, or shortly thereafter) and then returning, getting a degree, getting married, and after that there was nothing, because I guess I'd never thought that far.
         I did explore more, but what I do when I return will be on my next post, because this one's really getting long enough.  I would, however, like to say that it was the most interesting thing to happen, to "see" things which I know must have been created by my mind, but which surprised me anyway.  It was really quite eye-opening, so to speak.  Do I recommend it?  Well, I won't say yes or no, I don't know if everyone can even do it, or if I'm even doing everything right.  It was all experimentation, little to no instruction.  And, although it felt longer, it was all done in a little less than an hour.
             More to come my friends...