I've decided to publish a few more of my mind excursions on my blog. All of them will be called "Depth: *******". I'd like to say that this is mostly for my benefit, so that I don't forget these little mental "excursions", but I hope you like reading them, even if only to wonder how crazy I am. (of course they have a few names for supposedly crazy people who try new things like this: Inventors, scientists, and psychological pioneers...)
I'll start now.
Now, before I decided to try to get back to those mysterious tunnels in my mind, I have to let you know that I was angry. Very angry at some jerks who had been messing with a couple nice friends of mine. And not just dramatic, "ha ha" messing, this was some serious stuff here. That kind of thing just gets me into a huff... So in this wrathful state, I thought maybe if I explored my mind a bit, it would calm me down. It wasn't as easy to get into the deep meditative state that I need to be in to explore. The candle kept flickering, but eventually I got to the room with the steps and water, yadda yadda yadda (confused? Read my first "depth" post to understand). There was something wrong though. I could literally "hear" and "see" (yes in my mind, of course it's not real) the flash of what I could only think of as gunshots or firecrackers. It was a bit disconcerting. I proceeded to the large hole in the ground, while "underwater", attached my retracting ankle rope and swam in.
I'm learning now, that even though I consider this "place" to be the very depths of my mind, currently undiscovered, they do reflect on what my conscious mind and body are doing. I know this because the tunnels I "swam" into were going berserk. There were more gunshot/firecracker things going on, and there were now six tunnels, where there had only been five before. The new tunnel, on the top right, was smoking, and there were voices coming from it. I decided to go to the tiny "help section" tunnel on the bottom to see what was going on. Oh, and although there was still some black on the normally silver walls of the tunnel, there was also a ruby red coating in some places as well. Anyhow, inside the help tunnel, there was the mental copy of myself. "He" didn't look quite as calm as last time I had been there, but explained that currently under a state of stress, anger, and sympathy, this place shot it up in it's raw state. The extra tunnel on top was a tunnel of emotion, and that to go in was at my own risk. Naturally, I wanted to explore it right away, which the copy of me understood fully.
So on in I went to the top tunnel, which was indeed smoking and had voices coming from it. Going inside wasn't easy. I honestly cannot describe all the things that were in their. I don't think it was like an LSD trip though (which I've never tried, and don't plan to) because I was in control of my self, just the tunnel was full of things indescribable. I could tell what the voices were saying though, there were two of them. The first one was a high, autotuned/synthesized-like voice just saying "I need you" repeatedly. The second one made less sense at the time, but it was saying in a lower synthesized voice "Your teeth are so static, and the lion is dead". I've never once heard that phrase in my life. Ever. And yet there it was, coming from a box in a tunnel in my brain. Anyway, at this point I began to think that maybe this wasn't the best time to continue and went a little faster than normal to the entrance of the huge tunnel, and then back up the steps into reality. And in the end, when I came out, I was more relaxed. Go figure.
MY INTERPRETATION: Pretty basic. I was in a higher state of emotion, and it reflected on my deeper mind (I'm gonna think of a cooler word than "deeper mind", and I don't think it's quite my "subconscious" ... I'll get back to you on that..." As for the voices, "I need you" was probably just my inclination to help people in need and such. Nothing freaky. The whole static teeth and lion thing are different. I had to look up static and found out it meant unmoving in a way. So apparently my teeth are unmoving and there's a dead cat around... Nah, just kidding, I really do have more theory than that! I think the whole thing reflects my fear of not being able to help. I had already talked to the people who were having the troubles, and had hopefully given some reassurance to them, but I wasn't sure. I was afraid my saying anything had helped (or my teeth were static) and that I would at worst be a burden to them (the same way a dead lion would be)....
Trust me, this weirds me out too. I'm pretty sure I'm not insane though. Don't worry. =)
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