Thirst

A thirst for the truths of God...

A thirst for, if not acceptance, then toleration...

A thirst for love, not lust...

A thirst for adventure...

A thirst for discovery...

A thirst for humor...

A thirst for understanding and patience...

And lastly...

A thirst for water!  'Cos man, I'm PARCHED!!!

Randomness #5

Before I get random, I first need to tell you that I was unable to directly post my little comics directly to this blog (grr) so I've created a quick photo album: Here's the link: http://looseleaf.myphotoalbum.com/ (NO LONGER ACTIVE)
As of now, it's only got 4 comics on there, but I'll update it approximately every "when I feel like it".

Insomnia is no laughing matter, I've had it from time to time, and it's not fun.  Right now I'm good, don't worry.

How now brown cow?  Why fly in the sky, pie?  Hammer, the slammer, Lammer! (I do know someone named Lammer, nice guy)

I'm still figuring out what INFP means and how it does and doesn't describe me.  It's ironic that the test said I was an introvert (though only barely) because a few years back I took a similar test which called me an extrovert.  Have I really changed that much since being a freshman?  I guess I have noticed a few internal peronality differences since then.  Oh, and I'm also interested because Trocker says she's an INFP too.  (Which is incredible as only about 1-5% of the population turns out to be...)

There's water damage on my ceiling, so if any sentences get cut off suddenly, it means that the roof collapsed on me.  Though in all truth that's not very likely at a

...
Just kidding, thouhg I doubt I really got you, you're WAY to smart for that!  (Except you Norbert)  Is anyone's name actually Norbert?  I personally don't know any, but if you're name is Norbert, leave me a comment, so I can apologize for calling you an idiot.

Trocker!

I hate discrimination, it's really pretty much a waste of time... Except Martians, I discriminate against them every opportunity I get!  Hope I don't get vaporized.  (But seriously Westboros, take a break!  Go outside, take a deep breath, and maybe you'll feel better).

I have an inexplicable fear of cop cars.  Not that I'm any sorta law breaker (though I guess I do speed a bit) and I have no problems with police anywhere else, get along with them  great.  But if I'm driving anywhere at any speed, and I see a policewagon, I start hyperventilating.  And DON'T get me started on those songs on the radio which have sirens in them...  uggggggggh

Jokingly saying "I hate you" is way easier than jokingly saying "I love you", go figure that's it's also the same to say them seriously.

SUPERCAKE!

ah HA!

EXACTLY!!  BAM!  It was close to perfect!
Well, a build up like that deserves a reason for my excitement to be explained!  But I kinda like leaving you hanging here... 
No, that's mean, so I will indeed tell you what's goin on here.
I, ladies and gentleman, am an INFP!  Ta da!  If you know what that means, kudos to you, if you don't that's fine as well, as it's about to be explained.
INFP is my personality type, according to the Jung Personality Test, which is a rather accurate test if my description is any indicator, because it described me rather well.  (If you're that curious, just look up INFP on wikipedia, that was about right too).
The way the Jung test worked is that it asks yes or no questions on how one would treat a situation (always an unspecific situation) or how comfortable one is in a setting (still a vague one)
But that doesn't do it any justice, the only way to know is try!  It's 72 questions, and here's the link:
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp
happy finding
(and if it turns out your personality type doesn't match your personality, then that's that I guess)

Juniper

        I like that word... Juniper...  It's a tree, or rather a kind of tree, not very native to where I live (to my knowledge anyway), but it's a pretty word...
Funny looking tree though..
        My next project, which I'll get done sometime soon, is to upload some of the doodles and comics from my school notebooks onto here.  I frankly think they're dumb, but my friend Dirk said they were funny and I oughta put them somewhere, so why not?  I'm still debating keeping them as they are (loose leaf) or rewriting them onto just white paper.  Hmm, that sounds like work... maybe the I'll just name my comics "Loose Leaf" and then have an excuse just to them up as they are...
       Lazy am I?  Well, sometimes, but not always... Today?  Yes!

       I'm finally watching me some more Dr. Who (with Trocker) Starting with season 5, which is confusing, but I've been informed that it's pretty confusing no matter where you start, so I've let it go and now I'm just enjoying the shows.  Go Matt Smith!  He's awesome!

Depth: Unknown planes of thought

I've decided to publish a few more of my mind excursions on my blog. All of them will be called "Depth: *******".  I'd like to say that this is mostly for my benefit, so that I don't forget these little mental "excursions", but I hope you like reading them, even if only to wonder how crazy I am.  (of course they have a few names for supposedly crazy people who try new things like this: Inventors, scientists, and psychological pioneers...)
    I'll start now.
         Now, before I decided to try to get back to those mysterious tunnels in my mind, I have to let you know that I was angry.  Very angry at some jerks who had been messing with a couple nice friends of mine.  And not just dramatic, "ha ha" messing, this was some serious stuff here.  That kind of thing just gets me into a huff...  So in this wrathful state, I thought maybe if I explored my mind a bit, it would calm me down.  It wasn't as easy to get into the deep meditative state that I need to be in to explore.  The candle kept flickering, but eventually I got to the room with the steps and water, yadda yadda yadda (confused?  Read my first "depth" post to understand).  There was something wrong though.  I could literally "hear" and "see" (yes in my mind, of course it's not real) the flash of what I could only think of as gunshots or firecrackers.  It was a bit disconcerting.  I proceeded to the large hole in the ground, while "underwater", attached my retracting ankle rope and swam in.
         I'm learning now, that even though I consider this "place" to be the very depths of my mind, currently undiscovered, they do reflect on what my conscious mind and body are doing.  I know this because the tunnels I "swam" into were going berserk.  There were more gunshot/firecracker things going on, and there were now six tunnels, where there had only been five before.  The new tunnel, on the top right, was smoking, and there were voices coming from it.  I decided to go to the tiny "help section" tunnel on the bottom to see what was going on.  Oh, and although there was still some black on the normally silver walls of the tunnel, there was also a ruby red coating in some places as well.  Anyhow, inside the help tunnel, there was the mental copy of myself.  "He" didn't look quite as calm as last time I had been there, but explained that currently under a state of stress, anger, and sympathy, this place shot it up in it's raw state.  The extra tunnel on top was a tunnel of emotion, and that to go in was at my own risk.  Naturally, I wanted to explore it right away, which the copy of me understood fully.
        So on in I went to the top tunnel, which was indeed smoking and had voices coming from it.  Going inside wasn't easy.  I honestly cannot describe all the things that were in their.  I don't think it was like an LSD trip though (which I've never tried, and don't plan to) because I was in control of my self, just the tunnel was full of things indescribable.  I could tell what the voices were saying though, there were two of them.  The first one was a high, autotuned/synthesized-like voice just saying "I need you" repeatedly.  The second one made less sense at the time, but it was saying in a lower synthesized voice "Your teeth are so static, and the lion is dead".  I've never once heard that phrase in my life.  Ever.  And yet there it was, coming from a box in a tunnel in my brain.  Anyway,  at this point I began to think that maybe this wasn't the best time to continue and went a little faster than normal to the entrance of the huge tunnel, and then back up the steps into reality.  And in the end, when I came out,  I was more relaxed.  Go figure.

       MY INTERPRETATION:  Pretty basic.  I was in a higher state of emotion, and it reflected on my deeper mind (I'm gonna think of a cooler word than "deeper mind", and I don't think it's quite my "subconscious" ... I'll get back to you on that..."  As for the voices, "I need you" was probably just my inclination to help people in need and such.  Nothing freaky.  The whole static teeth and lion thing are different.  I had to look up static and found out it meant unmoving in a way.  So apparently my teeth are unmoving and there's a dead cat around... Nah, just kidding, I really do have more theory than that!  I think the whole thing reflects my fear of not being able to help.  I had already talked to the people who were having the troubles, and had hopefully given some reassurance to them, but I wasn't sure.  I was afraid my saying anything had helped (or my teeth were static) and that I would at worst be a burden to them (the same way a dead lion would be)....
          Trust me, this weirds me out too.  I'm pretty sure I'm not insane though.  Don't worry.  =)

Hmmmph

Uhhhhhh, I don't actually feel like blogging right now...  But here I am...
...
I can't actually tell if I'm bored or depressed right now, maybe a mix.  Well actually most of when I am depressed comes from when I'm not doing anything, and that may be the case here. ... or when I screw up really badly, but sometimes that's hilarious.  Not always, I don't know.
...
I've been helping lots 'o people with their various problems, listening and trying to help them feel better about them.  I like to do this, but I always worry that I'm not helping in the slightest.  I guess I like feedback is all, but I won't be naive enough to assume everyone likes to give it.  Still, a little bluntness here and there can be a handy thing.
I'm trying to learn peoples body language more, it's a very useful little thing to know... I also need to learn how to watch discreetly because their body language turns to "uncomfortable" when they realize I'm reading their body language. Teehee
I heard that if you want to eat but your not hungry, then there's a void in your life which you want filled.
...
I want to eat right now, but can't say I'm particularly hungry, that'll get me fat some day.  I wish I knew what the void was.

I'm sorry!  This post is a bit of a downer!  I don't like to be a downer to you nice people!  I'll try to chipper up next time ok?  Promise!
Love your neighbors AND your enemies, because it's really hard for someone to hurt somebody who loves them.

The corny tribute you all deserve

Hello, what?
Oh I know what's odd, I have not mentioned Trocker all year! (Yes the year's young, but still, this is quite surprising)!  I really just oughta say HA!!!!
Why ha?   Because, I feel like bragging a little bit right now that I am dating Trocker, and you obviously are not (unless, you are Trocker, in which case Hi!!).  That's right fellas, I've got a beautiful girl who has a lot in common with me, is really talented, smart, and just incredible to be around, and you may think you do, but you really don't, cuz I do!!!
Oh alright, that's bull, I bet a lot of you know really nice girls with whom you have close relationships with as well, and kudos to you!

(but you still don't have Trocker, HA!)

Some people would call what I'm in the "infatuation stage"... Yeah, probably, but I doubt that even if this stage EVER ends, I will still be adoring this amazing person who's brought a lot of happiness to my life.
Which is really nice... before her I'd say I was content, I think I have a good life, but was I happy person?
Well, that's a quest for everyone to find out, but nothing quite makes it easier than my baby. 

(I dislike mayonnaise)

I hope you all have a nice day

Good gravy!!!

Ah, hi there, how are you today?  I hope you haven't fallen into any wells lately, because that doesn't sound fun.
So I'm going to tell you about my near death experience that was experienced by me last year.  If you know who I am personally, then I've probably already talked your ear off about this, but if your not personally acquainted, but have found the time to read my blog for some reason, then have I got a story for you!
           Let's set the scene, I was just at a party with a bunch of actors in the cast of a play I was in (Willy Wonka, but that's unimortant).  Anyhow, the party was great, we played stupid actor games which for some reason involves more acting.  One would think we'd get sick of it after awhile...  But right, the real fun started when I was driving home.  First of all, I got pulled over by a cop for speeding.  This has never happened, even though I would consider myself to be an extremely foolish driver when it comes to my neglect of observing the speed limit...  That's gonna get my lynched someday, I know it.  Fortunately, the officer was really nice and let me off with a warning, which was considerably kind seeing as I had forgotten to bring my wallet, which had my license in it...  yeah, apparently it's legal not to carry it, but he had to take my name. 
(NOTE:  On the other hand, later I went to inspect where I'd been pulled over, and I figured out that when he had pulled me over I had moved into a 35 MPH zone, which means it's possible I wasn't actually speeding very much at all!  Go figure) So that was fun, but not life threatening in the slightest.  So I dropped off the friend I was to be dropping off and then proceeded home. 

...    Did I mention that it was past midnight at this point?  No?  Well, that's important now.  You see, I fall asleep rather easily (unless someone snores in the room, in which case I could be up all night ugh...) and I felt that coming on as I was driving.   Ok, no need to panic, I'll just yell randomly and turn on the radio.  Well, the radio was on Classic rock, which I figured should do the trick...

       I did not enter Pink Floyd into my equation... 
If you don't know the band Pink Floyd, they are a band (really?), while technically Classic Rock, that can be  very mellow in some of their songs (such as "The Dark side of the moon" which is one of the songs that describes me a bit I think).  And these songs unfortunately have a bit of a lulling effect on whoever is listening.

Needless to say, I was out like a light.
It was interesting though, because now that I think of it, I still had a tiny bit of conscious thought while I was apparently asleep (driving down a country road, don't forget).  The thought process went something like this:
"Ahh that's better, I was really tired...  hmm, I'm pretty sure I was doing something important though... and there was snow involved...  AUGH I'M AT THE WHEEL!!!!"
That was the moment I jolted awake and saw that I was on the opposite side of the road that I was supposed to be on, and was on a few seconds ago (it was a short sleep). 
       To make a quick wheel correction to get into the correct lane and thus continue my way home is exactly what I did not do.  In fact I wrenched the wheel one way out of sheer panic, then the other, then the other until my car was doing a fine zig zag down the road while I was screaming, which I do not do very often.
After a few zigs to zags, the ditch on the side of the road decided it had seen enough of this fun and thought it was time that I drive into it, so it told my car in the secret ditch-to-car-speak that it should come on in, and my car thought this must've been a good idea because into the ditch I went.
          Now I mentioned earlier that I was thinking of snow, because at the time it was midwinter, and probably the reason I still have any motor function at all to type or breathe or... be not dead. 
           The snow slowed my car, and it's terrified driver, down enough that I came to a complete stop at the bottom of this wooded ditch.  The thing is, if it HADN'T been snowy, and there wasn't that friction... well let's just say I was already pretty close to a largish tree aimed right at the front seat that would have probably beaten my car at a juggernaut contest (this thing was a Honda Civic man...)
            So, my car had a largish dent, but that was the only damage to car or driver, but it still makes one think about how one little bodily function can totally have the potential to end one's life, or at least severely damage it.  Now isn't that fun?!
        Oh, and don't drink and drive, ok?  Not terribly relevant, but stupid anyway.

Trust

        I've discovered a rather shocking fact about  what doing something in a guise of  game can reveal about someone.  It shows how willing people are to trust or back-stab another.  One of the most revealing games (in my opinion) is Risk.  First of all, it shows how people like to get into control of their situations.  People who think they can Juggernaut their way to victory will usually take Africa.  People who go for south America will probably want to hold out a little fortress on it's two fronts and advance slowly.  Europe is for the strategist who hopes to expand quickly, but needs to hold of Africa.  Asia is usually a unit dump, no one in their right mind thinks they can hold Asia right off the bat.  Some people don't go for a single continent, but rather just try to prevent other players from completing their own.  They prefer disruption of power.  Lastly (yes I know I forgot North America, I don't know what that one means) is Australia, for people who want to lie low until opportunity presents itself.
       Once gameplay starts, personalities start to form.  Some people believe in alliances and trust, and will try to form them for protection or assistance in attacking a bigger player.  Others will try to form alliances between other players to keep two or more nations of their own back.  But the most interesting development is when people form an alliance to open a weakness in another player.
        Of course, there's more to it than that, but I'll just skip to what I found interesting in my own choice. 

I started with Australia, and had to fight out two other nations to keep it for myself, I focused all my efforts to oust them and was left weakened.  This is actually an advantage to me.  With this slight weakness, I was out of the spotlight.  I could now safely stay out of the viewsite (the one entrypoint to Australia was my only defended place) and slightly recommend who the other, stronger, players should target (though I never directly told them, that would backfire).  Soon I had enough power and then things turned ugly.  Cutting through asia, I promised the European that I would give him three turns to crush Africa.  Then I attacked him in two, when he had wasted his forces... in the end, I held Asia and won the game.

           So there you have it.  I used deceipt, treachery, and manipulating to get the result I wanted.  Why does that disturb me.
In real life, I consider myself a more trustworthy and less sketchy person, don't worry.

But sometimes games can show how some minds can bend.

Depth: The last tunnel

Right, back to the quandary of the brain.

            I never explored the tunnel on the top of the large one. Don't really know why, maybe I was just done with putzing around my brain for a bit, but I did enter the one on the right. This is the one my “help section” told me linked to my senses. This tunnel wasn't only silver, but cyan as well (another favorite color, but I have no idea why it was here). And on the walls were different... oh what's a good word.... panels, with different colors.

My hearing panel was damaged. It had ugly yellow bits and was sparking a bit. This makes sense, my hearing's not what it should be. However, I pressed my “ear” to it and began to hear a conglomeration of sounds that I've heard throughout my life, a lot of it was music. I went onto the “taste” panel. Sure enough, when I pressed my tongue to it, I began to taste, or rather remember tastes, which I had experienced throughout my whole life. The only other sense I dabbled with was sight, and that one I didn't stay long enough to really see much at all. The sight panel had a scope type thing to see through, by the way. The other senses I left alone, not sure why, but it was time to return to the real world. (was this world real? It seemed real to me, and is that what should count?)

My retracting rope pulled me back up to the top of the tunnels' entrance, and I swam back to the steps. To leave this trance is almost the same as entering it. Every step I took up the stairs brought me closer back to the real world. When I opened the door, I was put back into the abyss with nothing but that candle. Extinguishing the candle, I could feel myself “ascending” (that's quite honestly what it feels like) back to myself. If you try anything like this, do not just hop up after you open your eyes, your body is actually to relaxed for that to be pleasant.

So that's it, I said I would tell you all what happened when I tried this mind exploration. Did I omit things? Psh, yeah! Obviously I don't want to tell you EVERYTHING that flies around in my arbitrary mind, but you get a good healthy gist of it. So, if that was at all interesting, and you feel like commenting, I welcome it. Tell your friends, I don't care!

And above all, I hope you have a nice day!

ohhhhhh.....

No tunnel today....
New years party last night, it was a blast...
One question though:
If I never EVER drink and never even plan to, what's the reason behind waking up hungover anyway?

...

Stupid migraines