Jun 19, 2011

Self-psychoanalysis

      I mentioned once that I like to psychoanalyze my self and figure things out almost from a third person standpoint.  My favorite and most useful way of doing this is how I act in social situation because I have to do everything there on demand.  This comes easily to most people and pretty easily to me if I know the people.  However, right now I'm just beginning college and of the freshmen I know NOBODY.
       This is a unique thing because until now I had pretty much my entire life to make friends in elementary/middle/high school so that I always knew someone and if I'm by someone I know I can talk to people I don't know pretty easily.  But now it's pretty much nobody.
       I'm diagnosing myself (if that's allowed) with a small touch of "Social anxiety".  I'm aware of what it is now because I'm alone in my dorm (which is fine because I have stuff to unpack).  Social anxiety basically means that when thrust into a large social scene without knowing anyone (like freshmen orientation), I sorta clam up and honestly have to force myself to breathe.  It stems from a fear of not making friends I suppose (I was going to say not being accepted, but frankly I'm pretty cool with not being accepted, just liked).  However, I also have an opposite problem which is that I don't like being the "satellite" or the person who's kinda on the edge of a conversing group or alone in the lunchroom.
        Actually that's an interesting insight.  I went to the cafeteria alone today to eat, got sorta lost finding the different selections of food so I just picked a small plate of something and sat down alone.  This made me feel awkward so I ate a bit of it and left quickly.  This in conglomeration with freshmen orientation and traveling (and a migraine) has led to me not having a good full meal in about 2 days.

Seems my "freshman 15" might be negative.  Oh well, I'll get through it!


(I got bored and took a test... here ya gohttp://www.personaldna.com/report.php?k=ErTqhMjluSJDLWX-CG-ADDCA-51d6&u=a9452792afcc )

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