Technically..

I'd rather not meet the girl of my dreams, because I always wake up from dreams and rarely remember much of them anyway.  What good would that be?
I also don't want someone perfect.  I'd feel terribly redundant.
She also won't be the apple of my eye, because that phrase makes no sense to me whatsoever.
We won't share a soul, because we both have one, so if we share, where does the extra one go?  Seems unfair to it...
I wouldn't do everything for her.  I can think of a few things that are either physically impossible or insanely stupid that I would prefer not to do on request.
She wouldn't mean the world to me.  The world is infinitesimal in comparison to the rest of the universe.  I should at least pick a few galaxies or something, though that's still infinitesimal.
I would probably die for her if it came to that, though in all honesty I'd prefer we both stayed alive.
I won't say we have "something special" because love has happened probably billions of times.  Not saying it's not special to us, but to assume it's only us is naive.


I used to be more romantic then this...

I guess I should address that it's now been one full year (a leap year I guess) since my last break up meaning that I've now been stag for a year, which is the longest I've been single since Sophomore year in high school.  I really don't feel any sense of remorse over it any longer (to feel that for a year would be downright pathetic) and I actually had my first real (not encouraged by a third party) date since then yesterday, which went well by the way. 

Still, it's an interesting dynamic to take into account in that a year ago I was feeling essentially obliterated in a way I didn't think COULD wear off, and now only one year of my life later I'm doing just fine.

Life is curious.

Panicing.

So I'm going to panic for a bit here... 

Ehh actually no, I'm not.  I'm keeping entirely calm.  I'm up to date on classes, doing well at work, I don't have a migraine today (they've been plaguing me all week!).  Actually I'm taking steps to reduce the amount of migraines I have, one of them being thatI won't sleep in and also I want to reduce the amount of tine I spend on the computer.  Can't hurt.  Also, I'm trying to eat more regularly instead of the "on-the-fly" vending machine raids.  Gotta keep tha-

ugh, after watching downton abbey, I'm thinking in a British accent.

-t blood sugar level.

I guess the only reason to be even slightly panicked is that my date is on Tuesday.  Apparently I do pretty well with people (lately) but a one-on-one encounter with an attractive female who I toy with the idea of having feelings for is worrisome.

Well 'ere's to luck.  Cheers!

boasting

So, I'm going to brag a bit here.  I have a date next week, tuesday (I know tuesday sounds like a weird time for a date, but it's what worked).  I've gone on a few dates since coming to college, but this one is different!  Because this time I sought it out with the full intent of making an impression.  Well I hope I do anyway.  Also it's realy the first date that I wasn't set up on, egged into, or decided it was a date halfway through the date in... well, a year.
Dang.
I'm realizing that my date is on the 27th... which is one day before the anniversary of my last breakup.  Go figure.  Not saying that this date I'm going on will result in relationship.
And of course I would finally take interest 3 weeks before finals...  I hope she's staying for spring.  Or not, depending on how the date goes :3


On another note, I'm in a downright good mood today.  I've been doing better with spring weather peeking into my life lately, but I would say I'm happy today.  Hooray!

Randomness #9

Good old randomness.  I realize that everything on this blog is random, but in these posts the randomness is  even more quick and in small bursts.

Did I mention my greatest fear is wasps?  Totally wasps.  Bees and bumblebees aren't great either but there's a certain debilitating fear of the sickening hanging legs of the most vile insect upon the face of this earth.  This might stem from the 1.5 inch pitch black wasps that occasionally plagued my yard in summer when I was a kid.  Those.  Were.  Terrifying.

So... I .... might be possibly acknowledging the notion of the possibility for the potential attempt at asking someone out.  Like, for more than just... asking someone out.  I mean, it's very slightly possible.  In that I'm unsure whether there is some sort of "feelings" for her, but I'm also pretty sure that there aren't not feelings. Man, I WOULD think this 3 weeks before finals.

Apple juice is delicious!

Oh crap, I have clean checks today!  And a midterm!  And I'm donating blood!  MAN I'm glad I withdrew from Chemistry.  I would absolutely die today if I hadn't.

I try to give blood a lot.  It's giving without doing much more than laying there... and bleeding.

I realized the other day how downright terrible I am at recycling.  I could do much better at that, though honestly I question just how useful recycling some things are.  I've that recycling paper takes more energy than planting trees, but that might be wrong.

My vlog has been getting better and getting more views!  One of my next posts will include a piano and me not playing it.  Someone will be playing it, but not me.

If I had a million dollars... I'd... pay for school... then... umm... buy a really nice camera and other sorts of recording equipment... then... then I'm not a sure.  I'd buy you a fur coat, but not a real fur coat that's cruel.

I hav never punched someone with serious intent of causing harm.  Ever.

I got offered weed while I was walking on a sidewalk by a bunch of guys in a beat up car, who had stopped at a stoplight.  I turned these entrepreneurs down.

Feelin' pretty good today, 

This

I'm trying this new little outlook on life of "go with the flow" and "roll with the punches".  It's sort of an acceptance of how life is, not always how I'd ideally want it to be. that doesn't mean
I should still try to improve it, but rather I shouldn't dwell too much on howI can't seem to improve it in some ways.

Usually this new view works pretty well, but unfortunately my frickin' turbulent emotions still can't let me be sometimes.  I'm getting better at settling myself down or picking myself up than I used to in Summer and especially Fall, but it's still largely unfun sometimes.

Foo

Now that I've dropped chem, life seems more simple.  Thank you withdraw button!

The times are toughening

Got back from my brother's wedding... ok, missed friday and Monday classes, no big deal right?
Well, I don't know what we added to our dance for tap... hmm
- I missed (yet another) assignment in Chemistry because I missed lectures.  At least we already took the second midterm for that one, which I failed.  Maybe I should withdraw...
- American heritage!  Iusually am alright missing a few lectures there and- what?  Paper due in labs... tomorrow!?!?!?  Hmm, well... I suppose, when I get off class tonight... at 5 (well, I'll be totally ready at 5:30 if I choose to eat, which I probably should).  Oh, and the midterm's next week... wonderful.
- Severe and hazardous weather!  Hey, I got on top and even got my assignment in on time!  Go me, I'm finally on top he- sorry what?  Oh the midterm IS this week.  Well, uh, well... goawayrightnow
- Book of Mormon Class!  I was already behind, but getting a bit caught up.  Yes I realize the midterm's today through friday, thankyouverymuchyouuselessuniversityeducationwhichissofarstressingmemorethaneducatingmewhichseemscounterproductive.
- I always do well in theater class!  Rehearsal friday at 5... well if I do my midterm then, which I should, I probably won't be eating.  Frick.

The reason I  can't do much on Thursday is due to my two normal classes, work, and apparently family services has to look inside my brain to see if I'm good for a mission.  I bet you they tell me I suffer from mild to moderate depression.  I bet they take over an hour to say it though.  I HATE redundancy in conversation.

Maybe if I go mad, I can get out of some of this stuff.

Thought

I was thinking tha-
WOAH NELLY I forgot I have to pack to go home for my brother's wedding!  Maybe next time, guys!

Musicals

Here's a preface to this:  I will probably be leaving for my 2 year mission (wherever it may be) in Summer.  I'm glad to go.
Keep this in mind.

So!  If I had the option to be in any musical, I doubt I could choose just one!  Here's a list of staged musicals I would love to be in!  As well as the character I would like to be (it is tempered by the characters I think I could play.  In other words, I won't put a character that I like if I would make a lousy actor for it).

1. Fiddler on the roof - Perchik.  I could mak a good Perchik (even if I'm pretty sure I'm spelling his name wrong...)
2. Phantom of the Opera - The Phantom.  A kid can dream, I'd be happy with a chorus part here too, though.
3. Wicked - Boq.  Boq was pretty much written for me.
4. Ragtime - Obviously I couldn't play one of the black guys, but I'd make an alright Tateh, given a fake beard
5. Man of La Manch - Sancho.  I'd need a fat suit for it.
6. Les Miserables - Not picky, although if I were a little more intimidating I'd want to be Javert, but I don't think I'd have a chance at that.

If I could be in all these shows, I could die happy (I was already in fiddler on the roof, so that's one!)

Well look at that!  Auditions at BYU for Phantom of the Opera are coming up soon!  When's the performance.
...
January of 2013.
Well.
umm
Ok
That's fine
I
I didn't really want to anyway
Probably wouldn't have gotten in

Yeah

I'm happy to go on my mission

I swear!

...

...
dang, this is a trial