Darn

I've been doing so well?!  Why am I depressed again?!

It could be the change in location just taking a brief toll... it could be my inability to utter a word around certain female... it could be uncertainty about what my future holds.... it could be an imbalance of nor epinephrin and/or serotonin.

This is not fun

That old feeling

It's the last day before I move to a new dorm with Daniel, and also the day a LOT of the friends I've made go home for Spring/Summer.  For some reason it felt familiar.
Then I realized what it felt like:
I used to camp with some guys from my church every now and then.  We also did week long hiking trips every now and then.  We got to know the best and the worst of each other while on these trips, and we always had adventures.  Campfire smoke became a scent we all adopted (it usually covered our body odor pretty well) and we all hailed the easily boiled meals that we had packed.  Disasters struck every now and then and we all had to move through them, and there were also plenty of amazing and hilarious moments that made everything worth it.  In the end we were worn out, smelly, and full of memories.  We knew that we were going back to a world of comfort and luxury compared to the bush we had shuffled through (And occasionally the swamps).  Even getting into the car was a relief to our strained muscles and we knew a hot shower and a rock-free bed awaited us.
And yet there's was still  that lingering smell of campfire smoke on our clothes, even after we had cleaned ourselves up, as if to remind us that we were by no means to forget the time spent and the adventures had.  We'd all be friends still, but not much could compare.

I'm sort of feeling the same way now as everyone goes on to take on different this 'n that's in their lives now that freshman year is done.... but there will always be this distinct feeling of campfire smoke when I think about the time we had...

Places

Well our college church ward had it's last little get together tonight.  Sad days.  Life I guess.

So.... there's a girl...  It's been quite some time since there's been a girl.  Like... I mean... what do I DO?  A:  Ask her out
I already did that, now what?
A:  Ask her out again if you think she enjoyed herself
Well.... yeah I think she did... and we do talk a good deal I suppose... and get along quite well... But what do I do?
A:  Repeating myself like this is tiring
Sorry
A:  No problem
Any good date ideas?
A:  Uh...  you're on your own for that...
So, I guess I have a crush on someone once again.  That's peculiar.  The good news is that she's staying for spring, and in the same complex as me, so I have many chances to fail at flirting.
Yippee!

Sweet mother of finals!

Man I haven't posted in ages it seems like!  I must've been happy, as this is a whiny blog and I haven't had too much to whine about.  That's kinda nice!
So I guess I'll go back to this blog being a mix of my life and various ideas/philosophies I have.  Recently my life's philosophy is a mix between "go with the flow" and "roll with the punches".  I used to (and still sometimes do) stress out about the small things.  Maybe not on a social level as much, since I'm fairly chill as to my "image" and such.  More so about how good I'm doing at school, with my music, and various other hobbies.  While I still recognize that these aren't things I can just roll with, I'm now of the persuasion that when I mess up, I'll still wake up tomorrow and the world will still be turning (well there's a good 99% chance of that barring my untimely death or the apocalypse).
It's a bit generic, but something nice to live by, and I think it's been doing me a world of good.  Haven't been depressed very often at all lately (spring weather is helping too).

Finals week is upon me next week!  But thank heavens that due to early finals, I only have three and should be done with them by wednesday, and then I'm done with this semester!  Woo!  And spring term is gonna be AWESOME!
Do you know why?  I'll tell you why:
In Spring, one only needs 6 credit hours to be a fulltime student.  So I'm taking a piano class, and organ class, a new testament class and I'll still be working as a prep cook.  So basically Spring is gonna be all about music, food, and Jesus.  Way chill!  Maybe I'll gain the courage to ask certain female out again, cuz she's staying too.
I'm content.

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